Eighteen.

I am always second best. If it's not because I won't open my legs for the first person that comes along, then it's because I've got spots or because I haven't got big enough boobs. It hurts that the people I end up with are the people that no-one else wants. And I know it's true because I think it myself. I try to love them because I want to prove to myself that looks don't matter or that there's some magic spark inside them that just needs a bit of encouragement, and then I really will fall head over heels for them.

But the fact remains that I have no such luck. The people who I do genuinely want always want someone else. And, right now, I don't see what I have to be jealous of her about. The fact of the matter is that she is just a pair of walking tits. She has no personality, she's bitchy, she has no outstanding talents, other than her geekiness, and even I kick her arse with that.

And yet, here I am, stuck on the shelf and wanting to cry till I'm shrivelled and dead.

It's not that I'm jealous - my feelings for him aren't that particularly strong. It's just...it's just because it's her. And because I believed that, for one glorious, fiery moment, that perhaps I had a chance.




"The power lines went out
And I am all alone
But I don’t really care at all
Not answering my phone
All the games you played
The promises you made
Couldn’t finish what you started
Only darkness still remains

Lost sight
Couldn’t see
When it was you and me

Blow the candles out
Looks like a solo tonight
I’m beginning to see the light
Blow the candles out
Looks like a solo tonight
But I think I’ll be alright

Been black and blue before
There’s no need to explain
I am not the jaded kind
Playback’s such a waste
You’re invisible
Invisible to meMy wish is coming true
Erase the memory of your face

Lost sight
Couldn’t see
When it was you and me

Blow the candles out
Looks like a solo tonight
I’m beginning to see the light
Blow the candles out
Looks like a solo tonight
But I think I’ll be alright

One day
You will wake up
With nothing but “you’re sorrys”
And someday
You will get back
Everything you gave me

Blow the candles out
Looks like a solo tonight
I’m beginning to see the light
Blow the candles out
Looks like a solo tonight
But I think I’ll be alright."