About me.

My name is Rachel Claire Mary Gunn. I don't like it when people spell my name wrong, so I prefer to be known as Roo. I'm sixteen going on six hundred. I have brown hair (that will be pink in a few weeks, hopefully) and eyes that I can never decide on the colour of - some days it's blue, but some days it's grey. Either way, I think they're kinda pretty. I'm also pretty tall, but I wouldn't mind being a couple of inches shorter. I like my legs but I don't like my stomach, bum or boobs. I also don't like it when people remind me that the last one may as well not exist in my figure.

I get offended far to easily and cry at the drop of a hat. I hear music as colours - Slipknot is very red and angular, My Chemical Romance are blue and curvy and make patterns that are easy to remember and Aiden are a mixture of blue, red and purple, with angular and curved patterns all mixed in together. I have seen every band that I want to see before I die - Aiden, My Chemical Romance, Paramore, Mindless Self Indulgence, Slipknot and Jack's Mannequin. If I could see HIM and/or Evanescence as well, that would make my life absolutely complete.

I get lonely when I don't have anyone to dote on. The more the merrier! My best friend has to put up with it the most, but I think she doesn't mind all that much (even though I know I must get annoying). I love it when people hug me. My perfect guy would have at least one tattoo with an interesting story behind it and would write me a song that was about how the world is through his eyes and if it's changed with me around, not about how he loves me. He would also not just be interested in sex. I will therefore end up a spinster and live next door to Ches and her husband, with about a million cats.

My cat is really cute, but really, really blind. This week she's started to panic a lot and I cry about it. I don't want her to be put down because I've had her all my life and she's been fantastic. Having a kitten would be nice, but it's not the same. Bobby is my friend, because she lets me talk to her when I'm crying and nuzzles her head under my chin and it makes me feel loved. Out of all my pets ever, she's definitely been my favourite. It's a shame that she has to get old.

I really like it when people write things for me, or write things about me. Whether that's stories, or poems or blogs. I just like to know that people think about me sometimes, which sounds stupid and selfish, but it's not. I think it's because I think so highly of all of my friends and so little of myself - because, basically, I'm a shithead - that when they write something affectionate, it makes me all tear up and have a little bit of selfconfidence. I also love talking to people from different places, just to find out what their culture's like and if there are any similarities.

There is nothing I wouldn't do for my closest friends - if I thought it was going to make them happy or save them in some way, I would willingly give up my life or freedom. I don't expect the same in return. So long as they give me a cuddle every now and again, I'm more than happy to be like that. I trust them all absolutely - proved yesterday, when I allowed Annabel to cover my face in plaster. It was actually quite a fun experience. I discovered what it's like to be blind for a couple of minutes. It was fun, but I wouldn't like to be like that all the time.

I hate it when people are two-faced. What's the point of being nice to someone's face, if you're only going to talk about how much you hate them as soon as they're away from you? I hate it even more when people talk about someone that someone else in the group cares about and expects them not to take offence. It's rude, selfish and cruel. There are some people in the world that I want to slap around the face with a wet fish and tell them to get over themselves. They think that they're above everyone else, when in fact they've made no real achievements in life, so they have no right to talk about others like shit, or look down on them. Only look down on someone if you're helping them up.

That brings me to my sexuality. My sexuality is not a disease. Yes, okay, I like boys and girls; who gives a flying monkey shit? I'm still a person - a person who cares what people think about her and who wants to have a little support and affection. I hate it when people turn their back on me just because of who I find attractive. I can't choose who I like and who I don't. Believe me, if I could, I would have stayed straight because it's so much easier. There's not all the confusion and the tiptoeing around. Do you know how hard it is when you fancy another a girl? You've gotta find out if they even swing that way in the first place before you even have the chance to find out if they like you back or not. Then you have all the homophobia surrounding the fucking situation - going to an all girl's school definitely doesn't help. Yeah, watch out, you might catch my lesbian disease or worse...I might actually fancy you. Most the people that think I like them have no fucking clue - I don't go for bitches and sluts.

Life is what happens when all the "What if...?" options don't. I've had enough of holding back what I think and worrying about the consequences. I am going out with all engines on fire - you can come along for the ride, but if you can't keep up then you're going to be left behind. I'm only holding one person's hand, because she's staying with me whether she likes it or not. I am point blank refusing to let her out of my sight for the rest of my life because there's no real point in it without her.

I've never written this much about me before. It feels good.