What a drama.

(For the record, the following is fictional.)


Dear World,
I stand before you, wishing that I was different. You get those moments in life where you wish that you could change your life for the better, but to do that you have to hurt other people. I have spent my life worrying about others and I have discovered why. If I do things my way - for myself - then I am shouted down, insulted and once again made into nothing.

I am not about to condone my own actions. Right now, I wish nothing more than to be back in his arms and smiling at my children. I'd tell them that mommy ain't gonna leave again and that I missed them every second that I was away from them. Sadly, I am a terrible liar. I love my family - believe me, the six of them are my entire world...but I wanted more world than just being a wife and a mother. I wanted to be somebody. Instead, I have become a something. What kind of woman in a modern world honestly wants to stay at home and do nothing except cook for and clean up after other people. I have dreams, y'know? I have aspirations which lie beyond the kitchen and the bedroom.

Sometimes, we have to become monsters to save those we love. I am not a bad person, believe it or not. Most people find me very easy to talk to and good fun to have around. I'm eccentric, I'm always smiling, I talk all the time...and yet I say nothing. You could probably talk to me for a good few hours and quite enjoy yourself, but when we're separated, you'll realise that we talked about nothing. You won't know me any better and you'll have made no revelations. There were no secrets spilled and the gossip was common knowledge.

In short, ladies and gentlemen, I want you to stop looking for me. The person that you're searching for no longer exists and the person that's in her place needs to be earned. Friends I might have once called close are pretending that I don't exist. I miss my family, ladies and gentlemen, but I'm not sure I belong there.

Always remember - even roses have thorns. But I am a nettle, and I'm poisonous.
R xo