I remember.

Some days it really hits you how time changes things. I remember when me and my eldest cousin used to be as thick as thieves. We talked all the time, never argued, sorted each other's problems out, she gave vito on any love interests I had...we were like best friends as well as cousins. I was never upset when she was there because we would always make each other laugh when we played Beach Boys and Surf Girls with all the other kids or when we just sat in the soft and talked about anything. We always wanted to sleep in there when we were at grandma and grandad's, even though it was cold, because it was like our hiding place. No-one ever knew you were there.

I remember when we went to London last year. It was the best two days in the world. We raved together on the train, laughed when I forgot that I wasn't meant to be having any chocolate and ordered a hot chocolate in Starbucks and took as many silly pictures as we could. She got renamed lava lamp because our auntie had thought that's what I'd called her, when I'd actually called her "Emma-mama-mama". We mastered the art of chopsticks - well, she did and I failed. We went on an open-top bus and laughed because we tried to take a picture and it was too windy, so we looked like were in a tornado. We just had so much fun together, it was unreal.

And now...the last time I saw her was when she came to my house. She doesn't have time around her busy social life and I feel kind of jealous. It's like I've faded out of her life. There's just this big Emma shaped hole and I don't know how to fill it.

I wish we had never grown up.